The Secret of Happiness!
From The Life Of Nomads!
Hey, how are you? I am sure you must be doing well, but does this phrase sound familiar to you? I believe yes, these are common phrases when you meet your friends, a familiar member usually after a long time.
The question here is, do you always know how you feel? I guess no, but most of the time the answer would be, ‘Yes, I am doing fine. Does it make everything alright, I believe ‘no’ but it helps you liberate your mind for a moment.
If you are reading this article, then I am sure you are mature enough and have been through several years in this life of yours, and I don’t have to tell you how to live a life. Everyone has their mess, and they themselves need to clear it.
The life of an adult, especially after graduation is not easy - this is the time when the mind, body, and soul go through various transformations, changes in hormones are just part of it. You are an adult now, you just can’t rush to your parents for every problem - you’re responsible, accountable, and ought to find your own solution.
The modern world is very different, I am not the person from the past but I have had significant life years in the world and been through mythologies of ancient times. Today, people are suffering from a couple of deadly diseases called, ‘Competition’ and ‘Comparison’ ( with others). And, it begins right from childhood when you are identified as an object and started being compared with other objects - be that your skin tone, skill set, or Level of IQ. These are the qualities in the species called humans, which prohibit this species from remaining happy. ( It creates unnecessary pressure, right? )
Being happy and Sad, these two states of mind, or say the major emotion a human life feels on the earth. Or say two faces of one coin, for example during academics, everyone would want to pass the exam, and that would make everyone happy. But scoring a little less from a competitor or not securing the top ranks might hurt you a little, and it can make you sad. Remember, only 1 person can get the first rank in any field of study, or life - no matter how much you try, or everyone tries, there would be only one odd person who would be securing the first position. Does that mean he/ she is the best? Might be, but does it mean he is the only person who is the best - the answer is clear-cut ‘NO’. One exam can not decide your level of IQ, it is seen in people's behavior, decision making, and how a person lives a life.
I understand, securing a slot in a competitive exam is very important, and it can certainly change your life. But, no matter how much people try, not everyone can be selected. It doesn’t mean you’re defeated, just that you're not meant for that position ( Only if you have given your best )
I have interacted with various people in my life from various fields, and age groups - what these people are missing is a lack of self-awareness, self-enlightenment. They don’t usually go through a self-assessment process. Before you start pursuing your life in any specific direction, the suggestion would be to go through self-assessment, identify your interest, your mental, and physical capability, and your willingness to put your effort in that direction.
“ At an early stage of life, maneuvering things is relatively easy, if things don’t work out you can change your path. But, later in the stage, it becomes difficult - it's not that you can not do it later, but the time, the environment may not be conducive for your growth, and also don’t ignore the responsibilities which pile up as you grow older. “
Remember, the sooner the better!
Anyway, no matter how much you try you can’t remain happy all the time - the world is designed in such a way. But the good news is, you can control your emotions, you can train your mind to stay calm when the situation is not in your favor when you’re going through a life crisis, and try to remain happy anyway. ( But how to train the dragon, the mind? I will talk about it later)
Saying is easier than doing, right? I agree, but the life you’re living is yours and you need to sail through it. Suppose you’re appearing for a degree examination, you yourself need to appear for all the examinations, people can help you learn, given your support but it's ‘You’ who needs to clear the exam - no one can impersonate in this examination.
You would have heard this phrase several times, that everything is a state of mind - that's true but not absolute. Everyone knows, our mind(brain) controls our body, but does our brain, or say the mind lives in silos? No right, especially if you’re a social animal, a human. People you live with, people you share your time with, thoughts you entertain affects your mind a lot, and it affects our day-to-day life. Therefore it really becomes important to understand what you are feeding your mind to.
Remember, you’re what you think of yourself, and eventually it will get transformed in your day-to-day life.
If you're a very negative person, always curse yourself, you will never see positivity, good things in your life, forget fortune!
Therefore, associate yourself with people who fill you with positivity, who can help you understand your life path, help you make your life decisions - We need such people in life. And, the note of caution is, stay away from negative and highly emotional people - it will mess with your mind, and disbalance the chemical equilibrium. Ultimately this is not good for your life.
In the world we are in, you can never be alone - you should learn to embrace your own company, even you can talk to yourself about your actions, achievements, and life plans - you can always do self-assessment. And, when you are alone, you’re living in nature, the atmosphere, you can talk to mountains, trees, and animals. They may not respond, but I am sure you will have a conversation, which can help you find the right answer, and you can only get it when you come out of our cluttered world, live in isolation when you embrace solitude!
Remember, to live is to travel, therefore, travel & explore!
Image - When I was traveling in Search of Happiness. At Hampi!
I said ‘Solitude’, is that the answer to everything? Probably not!
Image - In Search of Solitude, I reached the Tropical Forest of Kerala!
I remember, when I had stepped outside of my home for the first time to pursue my higher studies, while living in a rented house, eating at a hotel slowly deteriorated my health, mind, and body too. I started losing my health, memory power started diminishing and there were other complications that started with my ill health. ( how did I overcome it? )
My brother was good at sports, and used to do yoga at times - I never realized the power of doing yoga. But after trying everything, I was not able to get into good shape, be that mind or body. I embraced yoga, meditation, and pranayam ( the breathing exercise). It's been about 17 years since I started doing it, I hardly fall sick - I easily recover from fever, cough and cold, and my immunity is way too strong.
I would suggest you start practicing yoga at an early age. Yoga, what you see nowadays, where people are bending their body to achieve a certain position, is not ‘Yoga’. It's a process that involves your mind, body, and breathing system ( I am skipping the spiritual aspects of it, as the context is not aligned ).
Yoga, when combined with Meditation, and Pranayam, will not only heal your body, but it will clear your negativity, it will heal your mind too. It will slowly bring you to the stage when you start respecting yourself, you will be pumped with joy and confidence.
I am suggesting following yoga & pranayam position ( for a beginner, it's good to practice under observation of yoga guru/ skilled person ) -
Yoga Position -
Sarpasan ( Cobra Pose)
Pranayam -
Meditation -
10 ~ 15 mins a day would suffice.
Image - Lord Shiva! The God who gave ‘Yoga’ to the world!
I am not saying such practice would solve your problem, but it will make you mentally physically strong to deal with any problem. It will improve your immunity, help you get rid of medicine and its side effects. Remember, your body can heal itself. Just give it the right environment!
Talking about life when you start working, or start making your own living. The comparison with colleagues, friends becomes obvious. See, comparison, and competition are not bad as long as they don’t put you in distress or make you depressed. In my opinion, compare when it's needed, for example if you have a similar skill set, working in a similar environment with others. When you’re equally competent, and earning less or have a slow career progression, then you need to figure it out.
But never start a business, or try to get into a job just by looking at the person and the kind of money he makes or growth he has achieved. You may not have the right skillset to get there, you might not be competent, you might not know the full story, it might not go well with your attitude and aptitude. So stay cautious, and save yourself from getting into depression.
Let me give you an example, when I was in 2nd year of engineering, my seniors were going through placements. Most of the people who had decent percentages, were without any or minimal backlog, got the offer letter, and were happy. And, there was a senior, I know him, he was always casual in approach, looked reckless, and had a few backlogs. Though he did not get the placement, he was first to get the job when recession hit the world, and all those seniors with top ranks, and offer letters were struggling to get a job.
It's not always luck, though I do not deny this. But you should know what your capability is, you should know the areas where you can put efforts and excel, where your efforts are rewarded.
Remember, take a pause, and do self-assessment!
Also, no matter what you’re going through, learn to smile - it makes people wonder what you’re up to!
Crying is not a solution, but it's needed! Lock yourself in a room, cry as much as you can, but come out with a smiling face, and face the world.
Don’t get disheartened, if things don’t go as you have planned. Its life moves on, you can always start a new journey after a finished life!
Whenever you have time to read, talk to elders, talk to kids, play with them - travel, explore the world. Meet people, learn their culture, understand it, everything has its own meaning.
You don’t have to compare things always, things become good/bad, small/ big, superior/ inferior - only if we compare it. Let them maintain their unique identity, and let's make a unique life for yourself.
My mother says, don’t always see what is above us, at times also see people below us, struggling to meet the demands of day to day life. It will inspire you to help others, and make you happy!
Let me tell you, being a good person is not easy, you will be taken for granted, you will be misused - but don’t be afraid, observe, process, smile and move ahead. Life has a lot to offer, and no one has become poor by helping others.
Staying alive is important, rest is secondary.
Remember, to live is to travel, therefore, travel & explore!
Image - Life is like a wheel, spin it. Keep it moving! You can take a pause, but don’t stop. ( at Hampi )
See you!