The Secret of happiness from the life of nomads.

What does it really mean to be happy?

We meet an old friend after a long time and the first thing we usually ask is simple: How are you?

The answer is almost automatic.

I am doing fine.

But are we always fine?

I do not think so.

Sometimes saying that we are fine is not really an answer. It is simply a way of moving on with the conversation. Maybe it gives the mind a small break from everything that is going on inside.

So, what is the secret of happiness?

I do not have a perfect answer. I am not sure anyone does.

Everyone Has Their Own Mess

If you are reading this, you have probably lived enough years to understand that life is not simple. Everyone has their own problems, their own insecurities and their own battles.

I am not here to tell you how to live your life. You already know yourself better than anyone else.

Life becomes particularly interesting after graduation. You become responsible for your decisions, your career, your money and eventually for many other people around you.

You cannot run to your parents every time something goes wrong. You have to find your own way through it.

That is where many of us start feeling the pressure.

The Two Diseases of Modern Life

I sometimes think that two of the biggest problems in modern life are competition and comparison.

And the strange thing is that both start very early.

As children, we are constantly compared with someone else. Marks, appearance, intelligence, sports, communication skills and eventually careers.

Someone is always doing better.

Someone has better marks.

Someone has a better job.

Someone is earning more.

Someone is travelling more.

And slowly, without realising it, we start measuring our own life against someone else's life.

Being First Does Not Make You the Only Winner

Think about examinations.

Everyone wants to pass. Everyone wants a good score. And if possible, everyone wants to be at the top.

But only one person can come first.

Does that mean everyone else has failed?

Of course not.

One examination cannot decide the intelligence or potential of a person. Life is much bigger than a rank on a piece of paper.

The same applies to competitive examinations and careers. Getting selected can certainly change your life. But not getting selected does not automatically mean that you are defeated.

Sometimes you gave your best and simply were not meant for that particular position.

That is not the end of the road.

Know Yourself Before Choosing Your Path

Over the years, I have interacted with people from different professions and different age groups.

One thing I have noticed is that many people rarely stop and ask themselves a basic question:

Before choosing a career, a business, a relationship or even a major change in life, I believe we should spend some time understanding ourselves.

What are you interested in?

What are you good at?

What are you willing to work hard for?

What kind of life do you actually want?

These questions may sound simple, but they are not easy to answer.

Remember, the sooner you understand yourself, the better.

You Cannot Be Happy All the Time

Here is another thing I have slowly understood.

You cannot remain happy all the time.

Life simply does not work that way.

There will be disappointment, failure, loss, confusion and days when nothing seems to be going right.

The goal is not to eliminate every negative emotion.

The goal is to learn how to deal with them.

We cannot always control what happens around us. But we can gradually learn to control how we respond.

Your Mind Does Not Live in Isolation

We often hear the phrase that everything is a state of mind.

There is some truth in it, but I do not think it is the complete truth.

We are social beings. The people around us influence our thoughts, our confidence and even the way we see ourselves.

The conversations we have, the people we spend time with and the things we constantly consume all become part of our mental environment.

So it is worth asking yourself:

If you constantly tell yourself that you are not good enough, eventually you start believing it.

On the other hand, spending time with people who encourage you, challenge you and help you see things differently can make a huge difference.

We need good people in our lives.

Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company

We live in a world where being alone can sometimes feel uncomfortable.

There is always a phone, a message, a notification or something waiting for our attention.

But solitude can be useful.

When you are alone, you get an opportunity to think without all the noise around you.

You can think about your actions, your achievements, your mistakes and your plans.

And when you are somewhere surrounded by nature, something interesting happens.

You start paying attention.

Mountains do not answer your questions. Trees do not give advice. The sea does not tell you what decision to make.

Yet somehow, spending time away from the noise can help you find an answer yourself.

I have always believed that travel helps with this.

You leave the familiar environment, meet different people, see different places and suddenly many of your everyday problems start looking a little smaller.

Solitude Is Not the Answer to Everything

Of course, solitude is not the answer to every problem.

I learned this through my own experience.

When I first left home for higher studies, I started living in a rented house and eating most of my meals outside.

Slowly, my health started getting affected. My energy was down, my concentration suffered and I did not feel like myself.

I tried different things before eventually discovering yoga, meditation and pranayam.

What Yoga Taught Me

My brother was always more interested in sports and occasionally practised yoga. At the time, I did not really understand what yoga could do for me.

Eventually I decided to give it a serious try.

It became a part of my life.

For me, yoga was never simply about bending the body into a particular position. It became a way of bringing attention to the body, breathing and mind.

Meditation and pranayam became part of that routine as well.

I am sharing this because it worked for me. I am not suggesting that it is a magical solution to every problem.

But I do believe that building a regular practice can help us become calmer, more disciplined and more aware of ourselves.

A Few Practices I Followed

If you are completely new to yoga and pranayam, learn the movements properly and practise under the guidance of someone qualified.

• Sarvangasana
• Sarpasana
• Halasana

Pranayam

• Anulom Vilom
• Kapalbhati
• Bhramari

Meditation

Even 10 to 15 minutes a day can be a good place to begin.

Then Comes the World of Work

Once you start working and earning your own money, comparison becomes almost unavoidable.

You look at your colleagues.

You look at your friends.

You look at people who joined around the same time and wonder why their career seems to be moving faster than yours.

Competition is not necessarily bad.

Comparison is not necessarily bad either.

The problem starts when comparison begins affecting your peace of mind.

If two people have similar skills, similar responsibilities and work in similar environments, comparing their progress may sometimes help you identify what you need to improve.

But do not start a business or change your career simply because someone else appears to be making more money.

You do not know the complete story.

You may not have the same skills, interests, opportunities or temperament. What works beautifully for someone else may be completely wrong for you.

A Lesson from Engineering College

I remember something from my second year of engineering.

Our seniors were going through campus placements. The students with good percentages and very few backlogs were getting offer letters and naturally everyone was happy for them.

There was another senior I knew who was quite casual about academics. He had a few backlogs and did not seem particularly concerned about placements.

He did not get placed at the time.

Then the recession came.

Suddenly, some of the students who had excellent academic records and early offer letters were struggling to find jobs.

That particular senior was among the first people to find a job.

I am not saying that this proves anything about academic performance. It does not.

It simply reminded me that life rarely follows the neat ranking system we create for ourselves.

Luck matters sometimes. Timing matters. Opportunity matters.

But knowing your own strengths matters too.

It Is Okay to Cry

There is one more thing I have learned.

Learn to smile.

Not because everything is perfect, but because sometimes a smile is simply a way of telling yourself that you are still moving forward.

And yes, it is okay to cry too.

We do not have to pretend that everything is fine when it is not.

Cry if you need to. Take a break. Be alone for a while. Process what happened.

Then get up and face the world again.

Stop Looking Sideways All the Time

Whenever you get the opportunity, talk to people older than you. Spend time with children. Listen to people who have lived very different lives.

Travel.

Explore.

Meet people and understand their cultures.

You do not have to decide that one thing is superior and another is inferior.

Many things are simply different.

We create the idea of better and worse because we keep comparing everything.

Let things have their own identity.

And allow yourself to build a life that is uniquely yours.

A Lesson from My Mother

My mother has always said something that stayed with me.

Do not always look at the people who are ahead of you. Sometimes look at the people who are struggling to meet their everyday needs.

It changes your perspective.

It also reminds you that you may have more to be grateful for than you realise.

And if you can help someone, help them.

Being a good person is not always easy. Sometimes people take you for granted. Sometimes people misuse your kindness.

But that does not mean you should stop being kind.

Observe. Think. Learn. Smile. Move ahead.

Life has a lot to offer.

So, What Is the Secret of Happiness?

Maybe there is no single secret.

Maybe happiness is not a destination that we reach one day.

Maybe it is a collection of small things.

Knowing yourself.

Accepting that life will not always go according to plan.

Spending time with people who matter.

Learning to enjoy your own company.

Taking care of your body and mind.

Helping someone when you can.

And sometimes, simply leaving everything behind for a few days and travelling somewhere new.